10 Secrets to a Happier Marriage

We all have a number of myths we tend to believe about marriage. But true happiness is not found in your relationship with your husband, but in your relationship with Christ. Here are ten key principles to a more fulfilling marriage.

Your Husband Was Never Meant to Be Your Happily-Ever-After

Asking your husband to be the source of your happiness is an unfair expectation. When you resolve to pursue loving Christ with all of your being, you will find the secret to happiness lies in your relationship with God alone. Only then can you enjoy fellowship with your husband in a way that honors Christ and blesses him.

Respecting Your Husband Will Inspire Him to Love You More

God created your husband with a deep longing to be respected by you. Just as deeply as you long to be loved without condition, your husband desires to receive unconditional respect from you. When you believe in your husband, rely on him, and celebrate his accomplishments, you are meeting one of his deepest emotional needs. Your respect can motivate your husband to accomplish great achievements — because a man who is honored by his wife can do great things.

Staying in Love Is All About Your Love for God

With God’s help you can gain victory over negative thoughts about your husband and replace them with thoughts that are honorable, lovely, and commendable. In our many years of biblical marriage counseling, my husband, Steve, and I have seen relationships transformed when wives committed to thinking well of their husbands.

Parenting as One Brings Unity Into Your Marriage and Security to Your Kids

Your children’s security lies in the health of your marriage relationship. When you learn to live with your sights upon God’s calling on your life — to know Christ and make him known — this will influence how you live at home. God intends for you to live in a manner that draws your kids to Christ.

The Grass Is Not Greener on the Other Side of the Fence

Because of sin, you and I struggle with self-worship. And when you are in a state of self-love, if you’re not satisfied with how your husband treats you, you may fall for the myth that you would be happier with someone other than your husband. When you find yourself toying with that idea, know that Satan — who comes to steal, kill, and destroy (see John 10:10) seeks to ruin you and your family. Realizing it is wrong to receive your sense of worth from your husband is the first step to setting him free from the burden of trying to give you what only God can give. And when you determine to find your worth in Christ, you will no longer need others to fill the void only Jesus can satisfy.

Realizing it is wrong to receive your sense of worth from your husband is the first step to setting him free from the burden of trying to give you what only God can give.

The Secret to Keeping Your Husband’s Attention Is Finding Your Worth in Christ

When you spend your life developing your inner beauty and stay focused on the Lord, your husband’s affection for you will grow as he observes the lovely woman of God you are becoming.

Pursuing Your Husband Sexually Will Fill Him with a Sense of Well-being

Don’t make your husband apologize for wanting to have sex with you. Pursue him sexually, and you will have a profound influence upon him in all areas of his life. When you make your husband feel sexually desirable, he will feel loved for who he is. You will fill him with a sense of well-being, confidence, and overall satisfaction with life.

Grow Rich in Ways You Never Imagined

Have you become consumed with career and cash? Do you fall into the trap of believing that security for you and your family lies in how much you attain in this life? Realize God’s highest good for your marriage is not to give you everything your heart desires so you can be comfortable and happy. Rather, God wants to make you holy though his Son so you can live out his perfect plan for you — so you will reap his blessing for all eternity.

Be a Peacemaker in Your Marriage Relationship

The only way to build a marriage free of hurtful discord is through biblical conflict resolution. By working to resolve conflict in a way that honors your husband, you can begin to live in a manner that reflects the Lord’s character to those who are watching how you live — beginning with your children.

The Joy of the Lord Is Your Strength

Life is filled with blessings and struggles. Learning to see each experience as an opportunity for the Lord to shine his light through you is the first step to realizing God has purpose in whatever he allows to come your way — even a difficult marriage.

When you choose joy in each experience you encounter, you can become a vessel for the Lord to reach the lost and encourage others — as well as mold you, your husband, and your children more into the image of Christ. When you live with this perspective, you will discover the secret to living above life’s circumstances — and the joy of the Lord will indeed be your strength.