The Symptoms
Do you ever feel as if you are living with Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde? Is your spouse loved by family, co-workers, and friends? Yet, when he/she is in the comfort of your home creates an atmosphere of fear? If so, you are not alone. Emotional abuse has reached epic numbers in marriages across the country and causes tremendous shame and humiliation. Due to the shame of emotional abuse, secrets abound and dysfunction prevails.
What are the symptoms of emotional abuse? Verbal abuse is the most common form of emotional abuse. Verbal attacks come in the form of personal assaults on your character, with comments like “what have you been doing all day long…you lazy bum.” Blaming and accusations are also extremely common, often twisting their failures and putting the responsibility on you. Blaming and accusations are reflected in such comments as “if you didn’t make me so angry, I wouldn’t have to scream at you” or “you spend all of our money on your selfish needs.”
The most common symptoms we see of emotional abuse in our intensive counseling is shaming and judging. Shaming may come across as demeaning, parental comments which indicate stupidity in your decisions. Judgments slip out without a moment’s thought often heard as “you should…do this or do that.” Is there any wonder how you may be questioning your decisions, feeling worthless, and hopeless that your spouse will ever change? The great news is there IS hope for change if YOU are ready to demand it. Look for my next blog which will coach you on how to stop emotional abuse in your marriage.
- Please see Abuse
Stephen Arterburn
Stephen “Steve” Arterburn is an author, speaker, counselor, radio talk-show host of New Life Live, host of New Life TV, and founder of New Life Ministries and Women of Faith. He co-wrote Every Man’s Battle: Winning the War on Sexual Temptation One Victory at a Time with Fred Stoeker, as well as several other publications.
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