Betrayal Trauma is Real
Restoring What’s Been Lost — available exclusively on Marriagetrac — is the exact roadmap to help you get through the intensely dark and painful place that porn leaves us in. By Sheri Mueller MA, LCPC
Heal From Your Betrayal and Help Stop Your Husband’s Addiction
- Instead of living in pain, turmoil, anxiety, and regret…
- You can live in abundance, peace, and happiness once again.
- Maybe do all of that and more, with the man you fell in love with.
Pornography is More Than a Bad Habit — it’s Fighting the New Drug
First, let’s be clear about something. Your husband’s withdrawal from you is not a habit; it’s an addiction. That realization is going to present you with many questions and emotions to process. Feeling numb one moment and furious the next over this betrayal is normal. Your brain and heart feel as though they are on a rollercoaster ride—rushing to the top and crashing to the bottom within seconds. That too is a normal response. One of the most uncomfortable feelings you’ll experience will be to wonder if everything you knew and trusted about your husband has been a lie. The intimacy you shared in the past will feel false. You may even wonder why you aren’t enough to satisfy him. What could I have done differently? you think over and over. Does he even love me? What’s wrong with me? In truth, his craving for porn has nothing to do with you or your marriage. That’s tough to believe, I know. But his struggle existed long before you met. From the earliest days of your relationship you’ve been deceived, and this journey with your husband is a place of grieving, compassion, awakening in understanding, and seeing the affects pornography has had in his life.
Shame and Guilt are Not Your Burden
Silence about pornography addiction within the church is prevalent. Too often the one place that should be a safe haven for you isn’t. After all, who wants to tell other women their marriage is in crisis and their husband watches porn? Not only are you dealing with your husband’s guilt and shame, but you are suffering with your own. After more than thirty years of leading couples’ small groups and serving in ministry, I’ve had one, and only one, woman ever brave enough to ask, “Can we grab a cup of coffee? I need help and prayer for my husband’s sexual sin.” That means hundreds of other women are suffering in silence. I deeply grieve for these marriages and hope and pray more and more wives will step forward and break the silence. But too often women don’t—for one important reason: shame.
Above are excerpts from Restoring What’s Been Lost — Copyright © 2020 Sheri Mueller
Get the Book
Jim and Sheri Mueller — co-founders of Growthtrac Ministries — have mentored over 100 couples over the last 15-years. In fact, Growthtrac itself emerged from Jim and Sheri’s passion for marriage mentoring.
Sheri Mueller
Sheri Mueller is an LCPC who earned her M.A. in Professional Counseling from Olivet Nazarene University. A certified facilitator and trainer for PREPARE/ENRICH, Sheri has worked for more than 15 years to help individuals, premarital couples, and married couples build and maintain healthy relationships. An Adjunct Professor at Judson University and author of numerous articles and a regular column, Mentor Minute, Sheri, with her husband, Jim, founded Growthtrac Ministries. Check-out Sheri's book, "I Want Him to Want Me: How to Respond When Your Husband Doesn’t Want Sex "
